Lectures and a Crack Ship
by KikoTsukinamura
Summary: Yup, you read right. This is a crack ship that I got form a random reviewer on a story of mine. This is my first Kankri so please correct me, I beg you. This is a matespritship for those two and i think i did rather well. (rated t for homestuck)


Yup, this is indeed, a crack ship story. This is a ship...that I approve of heavily. I got the thought from a reviewer on one of my two shots that I'll finish someday. They said and I quote,_ "And umm I kinda noticed thAt there isn't a lot of fanfics about John and the signless and or KanKri. I mean I ship John and KarKat, but I kinda want to read a fic about John and KarKat with the 'other KarKats'." _So, enjoy my crack ship! It's bubble time. Quirks used with trolls... :D Wish me luck.

* * *

You stand in front of your best bro, Dave Strider, in his ridiculous God Tier costume of his. It's really... unique as Rose put it. It's pretty stupid, is what you think. "Yea, yea. Okay, Dave." You plainly answer to his rap that you weren't paying attention to in the first place. You were thinking about this one troll that you haven't got the chance to speak to, or get to know really. You think his name was...uh, wasn't he Karkat's brother from another...planet? That came out wrong.

"Bro, I'm serious. Karkat is really pissed off today. I don't think you should bother him." Dave advised, making you grin.

"Oh?" You playfully question him. "The cool kid is actually being intimate about someone? That's new." Your comment made the blond fume. You laugh heartily aloud. Oh, if only the game was like this. So simple, so real, yet so...not. Blah, no don't think like that! Once you beat the game, everything will go back-partly- to normal! Right, yes! Normal after game! Nah, whatever, it's not like you can actually die in this game so live and let die right?! Focus, are you going to go find that unknown troll or not.

"Hey, Dave. You know where Karkat's brother figure is?" You ask him, and he nods, pointing behind you and slightly to the right. "Thanks~!" You chime, turning on your heel and bolting. Anything to get away from his raps...Phew!

You start wandering and come across another troll called Latula, that you consider Terezi's sister-Earth wise- and smile as you call out to her.

Her red glasses shine in friendliness as she waves, stopping for you to catch up to her. "h3y th3r3. wh4t 4r3 you do1ng out h3r3 by yours3lf john?" Latula grins, a pearly white smile that brightened your day, which sounded like you liked her more than a friend, and eww, no. Instead, you just treat her like a sister.

"I'm looking for the red sweater guy that I haven't talked to yet. You know where he is, Latula?" You ask which makes her cackle in response.

"oh of cours3 1 know wh3r3 kr4nk1's 4t s1lly! h3's t4lk1ng to k4rk4t ov3r n34r th3 top of th3 st41rs. go th3r3 1f you d4r3." You look at her strange, which makes her cackle louder than normal, and she skates away towards a yellow and black clad figure with a bright yellow helmet on. What was that guy's name? Ah, right. Mituna Captor. He's odd, to say so for yourself. Anyway, she said the stairs...

You don't even reach the stairs before you hear a loud screech. "SHUT THE FUCK UP KANKRI!" You found him alright, and Karkat must not like him. But, Karkat doesn't even like Rose for God's sake, so whatever. You honestly can't judge him though, because there's this one guy you really don't like...His name was, uh... no, wait! **_Her_** name was Damara Megido. She doesn't seem to like you either though~. Rrgh, back on subject!

You walk up behind Kankri just as Karkat storms off up the stairs with his face consumed in what seemed to be anger. You honestly can't tell though because he's always angry at everyone for no absolute, apparent reason, so...yea.

"Hey there, Kankri!" You greet the troll with a smile as he turns to face you with a similar one. "I've heard about you around in the bubble, and I wanted to meet you! I've heard some good things about you from Latula and Porrim, but Karkat says you're an irritating, sickening excuse of a living creature." You chuckle nervously, which make the raven chuckle with you.

"Yes, it d9es seem that my alternate self has n9t pre9ccupied himself with educated activities like I have s9 he acts intelligent when in all reality, he is p9sitively idi9tic as y9u humans put it. 9r, as I have o6served, s9me 9f y9u tend t9 insult each 9ther by making the c9mment 'Y9u're an idi9t' if I'm n9t mistaken. I w9uld l9ve t9 understand why y9u humans d9 such irrelevant things t9 each 9ther when all 9f y9u can simply get al9ng and have fun like tr9lls and humans, such as myself and Miss Lal9nde, d9." The troll innocently states, and you struggle to reply back.

"Um...I don't...know?" You shrug at him, like it does matter. Which it obviously doesn't. But, Kankri doesn't drop the conversation, he simply starts it up once again.

"9h, h9w rude 9f me. I have yet t9 intr9duce myself t9 such a fine y9ung gru6 such as y9urself. My name is Kankri Vantas, and it's very nice t9 meet y9u." e extends his hand, and you reluctantly shake it, lost entirely in the troll's words because you don't understand. Though, you know a grub is a young troll, so it applies to humans like yourself in the same way, you guess. "It's very nice t9 6e acquainted with y9u, my dear new m9irail. I'm glad t9 6e part 9f y9ur supp9rt team since, in fact, I cann9t help y9u physically due t9 the fact that I'm in an9ther sessi9n with my 9wn team mem6ers. Miss Latula and I are delighted t9 have met y9u, as t9 my kn9wledge, y9u are quite the cheerful character, s9 if y9u w9uld all9w me t9 speak t9 y9u a69ut y9ur leadership r9utine." Kankri keeps on speaking, derailing from the subject multiple times, but eventually getting back on the topic that you brought up.

Being the polite person you were, you try to hang onto his words, but only hear a few words. Triggering and offensive being among the top words to be used quite a bit. Ugh, maybe this was a bad idea to talk to him. Well, more like look at Kankri while he tells you about random things. This conversation was going to be quite tedious, wasn't it...?

"N9w, 6ef9re I c9ntinue 9n with this c9nversati9n, I'd like y9u t9 state y9ur trigger t9pics." Kankri stops talking, and you gather your thoughts.

"Uh, sorry, what did you, uh, say about trigger topics? What are those?" You ask and immediately regret it as Kankri smiles and begins to speak one more. "Triggers t9pics are the t9ics in which y9u d9 n9t wish t9 6ring up. Per say, with my dearest friend Mituna, he wishese f9r me n9t t9 talk a69ut his mental pr9cesses 6ecause he has tr9u6le pr9cessing certain t9pics like f9r say human restr99m cleaning materials." Kankri seems to blush from the mention and instantly know it's about their thoughts on buckets. Seriously. What the fuck. "Despite the fact that all 9f us a69ard this j9urney d9 n9t wish t9 trigger any9ne, my... acquaintance d9es n9t seem t9 care a69ut such t9pics which infuriate me t9 the utm9st maximum 6ecause she d9es n9t have a matesprit in which t9 speak a69ut it with, and she sh9uld 6e c9nsiderate 9f 9thers feelings a69ut such t9pics, and I h9nestly believe that the t9pics sh9uld 6e immediately dr9ppped just as s99n it arrives, and in my 9pini9n, it sh9uld never 6e 6r9ught up in a n9rmal c9nversati9n just like this." Kankri then smiles forcefully, as you can see, and gestures for you to talk.

"Uh, well, uh, I don't really want to include many, uh, shipping charts or anything like that in this conversation because Karkat kinda made everything awkward with Rose and me. The same thing goes for Dave and Jade. So, even if we had a chance at really liking each other, he messed it up big time." You cough nervously as you place a cold hand to the back of your hot neck. Why are you so uncomfortable around him? This is so frustrating!

"Shipping questi9ns d9 tend t9 frustrate m9st tr9lls and it seems as th9ugh Karkat has 6een hanging ar9und Meulin f9r far t99 l9ng. I h9pe that 6eing ar9und such characters w9n't affect his...c9l9rful pers9nality in any way p9ssi6le. I h9nestly appreciate the fact that Karkat is the way he is, f9r if he weren't as he is, I w9uldn't 6e wh9 I am, and I a6s9lutely l9ve wh9 I am and wh9 I meet 6ecause I c9uldn't ever trade my friends f9r any9ne else in the wh9le entire w9rld 9f 6ef9rus." Kankri smiles like a child before regaining his posture. "Despite the fact that I l9ve myself and my darling friends, there is 9ne thing I regret."

You blink at the words because they were confusing. How could someone as smart as he, and as funny as himself, regret something that he'd recall. "What do you mean?"

Kankri takes a few steps towards you and you freeze in place as his hand cradles your cheek. "Meeting s9me9ne wh9 understands me well en9ugh t9 care. And, that it t99k s9 l9ng t9 find him." He places a small kiss on your cheek and strides away, leaving you glued to your spot in surprise.

"Wha...?" You question hoarsely as you look at the spot where he stood right before he kissed you on the cheek. God dammit, you aren't homo!

_**Or, are you...?**_

* * *

Dies dramatically and shit


End file.
